Shixty Elafants
askinnyblackman:
dabombdotgov:

the-unpopular-opinions:

If you live in any of the places highlighted in red, I automatically assume you are unintelligent. You are all nothing but a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist, crooked teeth, inbreds who couldn’t properly speak your way out of a paper bag. First of all, it is a FOOTPATH not a SIDEWALK. Second of all, it’s called a FIZZY DRINK not a SODA. Third of all, they are called SHOPPING TROLLEYS not SHOPPING CARTS. Fourth of all, your accents are beyond atrocious, and going back to basic 1st grade speech classes will be in order. I am so glad that most Americans do not move out of their region. Even if you’re not a stereotypical hick, you all still have hick-like qualities about you.
So please, just know that if you are from Noth America, I truly and honestly believe that you are beneath me. I pity your educational systems (and drivers ed as well). If you’re from the US and you EVER in your life try to get into an argument with me, I will laugh at you in your face. You’re not worth my time. I hate the way people from Canada talk as well, but I can tolerate that much more than I can any american accent. I am extremely privileged to be living in a European country. Where I was born and raised alone proves that I am far more intelligent than you are. If it ever came between a US citizen having a job oppurtunity and someone from a civilized place such as me, or somebody from Russia or Asia or Australia, we are more likely to get hired. Just keep that in mind.I really don’t consider Alaska a part of the US, so you all are excused. 

yeah but do YOU have 50 chicken mcnuggets?

yeah. i thought not you wet leaf drinking weenie.

I bet you guys don’t even have waffle tacos. 

dabombdotgov:

the-unpopular-opinions:

If you live in any of the places highlighted in red, I automatically assume you are unintelligent. You are all nothing but a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist, crooked teeth, inbreds who couldn’t properly speak your way out of a paper bag. First of all, it is a FOOTPATH not a SIDEWALK. Second of all, it’s called a FIZZY DRINK not a SODA. Third of all, they are called SHOPPING TROLLEYS not SHOPPING CARTS. Fourth of all, your accents are beyond atrocious, and going back to basic 1st grade speech classes will be in order. I am so glad that most Americans do not move out of their region. Even if you’re not a stereotypical hick, you all still have hick-like qualities about you.

So please, just know that if you are from Noth America, I truly and honestly believe that you are beneath me. I pity your educational systems (and drivers ed as well). If you’re from the US and you EVER in your life try to get into an argument with me, I will laugh at you in your face. You’re not worth my time. I hate the way people from Canada talk as well, but I can tolerate that much more than I can any american accent. I am extremely privileged to be living in a European country. Where I was born and raised alone proves that I am far more intelligent than you are. If it ever came between a US citizen having a job oppurtunity and someone from a civilized place such as me, or somebody from Russia or Asia or Australia, we are more likely to get hired. Just keep that in mind.

I really don’t consider Alaska a part of the US, so you all are excused.

yeah but do YOU have 50 chicken mcnuggets?

yeah. i thought not you wet leaf drinking weenie.

I bet you guys don’t even have waffle tacos. 

lulz-time:

this is the best photo ive ever seen

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

lx34e:

me and my friend arriving at an all you can eat buffet 

lx34e:

me and my friend arriving at an all you can eat buffet 

shrekyourself:

banderboucher:

this one is even spookier. Look what I fucking found in my house.

i laughed so hard at this that i cried

snailfriend:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quickweaves:

samirafierce:

vinebox:

shoutout to oxygen

This is life literally

ON MY MAMA I BE BREATHING

divinedorothy:

happy easter everyone ive had this joke in my queue since january

boburnhamdaily:

"Do you get back to see your family a lot? Do you go back to Massachusetts?"
"Um, yeah. I wanna get back to Boston more. I was supposed to go home for Easter, but, I’m sort of terrified of Easter, because… eight years ago I knocked out my two front teeth, during a blindfolded Easter egg hunt."